Afraid Of What I Want

by Rebel Without A Coat

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about

A one off song written and recorded whilst recording her second "studio album".

lyrics

VS1

I got
So many silly thoughts runnin round my mind and I'm
Feelin' like my third eye's gone a bit blind
Like my pineal gland needs decalcifyin
I need a deep clean like deep pans fryin in Pizza Hut

That was a shitty simile, similarly
I don't bring a lot of symbolism or synergy to my
Efforts, the muscles used to make 'em are decrepit
So I got a deficit in my karma, I got no credit

I said it, so somewhere you probably read it
Cause I don't have the courage to self-edit
So it's sittin out there somewhere for you to view
I don't take my videos down off-a Youtube

I don't roll with these times, I don't got the Bluetooth
I don't got the True News, I just got the blues, I got a
Lotta brews lyin around to go cold
And a lotta CDs that are not getting sold

I'm not very bold in my forward motion
I'm a self-decricatin little cunt drinkin potion to
Forget the one mission I was put here for
Create my own vision, put a foot in the door

I'm lookin for more, when I got no structure to call upon
Jumpin out the plane with no cushion to fall upon
Try'na get away with no floorin to walk upon

CHORUS 1
Yes I been I've been fallin
Yes I been I've been fallin fallin fallin fallin down
Yes I been I've been fallin
But falling is the start of walking

I'm so afraid of what I want these days
And what I fear is to be embraced
I'm so afraid of what I want these days
But all my fear is to be embraced

VS2

I'm sure I was tryin to make a particular point
But I'm goin off on one like I been sniffin a joint
I stick a spliff in the rift in between my lips until a
Different position on this situation exists

Like, wait a minute what if I didn't need weed or to
Eat wheat to be free, I'd just see trees
And feel peace a sea breeze would put me at ease
So much so I wouldn't

Feel the need to even finish these four lines
They speak for themselves, so you don't need to hear em
More times, but I'm all mind and no matter
So when it falls apart you can hear the snow globe shatter

What the fuck was I sayin?
I'm a footstep away from decayin inside of my own brain
I got no shame, oh wait,
You know that's a lie cause I'm so lame, okay,

I don't mean to say that to be physically crippled
Is a thing to be ashamed of, I just need a tipple and I'll
Be able to understand the shit that I just scribbled
And justify the drivel that my mouth constantly dribble

I'm tryna say it's been a year since the day
I said that I would clean up my diet, I would stay off the
Poison, and now I been on that shit again, but my
God am I learnin to keep it zen

CHORUS 2
And I owe it to myself
To grow into better health
And I owe it to myself
To grow into better health

I'm so afraid of what I want these days
And what I fear is to be embraced
I'm so afraid of what I want these days
But all my fear is to be embraced

credits

released June 11, 2017
Written, performed, produced and mixed by Rebel Without A Coat.

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Rebel Without A Coat Manchester, UK

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